I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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