i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize