gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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