when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
