Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize