Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
