That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
