so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
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it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
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direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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