even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
