Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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