i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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