he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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