We're facebook friends in real life
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
