how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think people are normalizing furries
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
