you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Randomize
