My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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