yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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