Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Bring me that man meat
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
