I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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