those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
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He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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