it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
