Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
And then he peed in my hair
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