Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
