so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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