Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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