this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
