She said her name was "party"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
