Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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