i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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