I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
