Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
