let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
