3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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