Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
