no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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