Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
