The Swedes wanted a tensome.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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