It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
