Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
