That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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