I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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