Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize