He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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