Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
