Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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