It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
