I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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