Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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