Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize