Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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