I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable