OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.