I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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