do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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