ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
