They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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