Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
