i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize