i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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