I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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