Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
