Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
soo... how was my night?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
