i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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