Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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