I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Everclear isn't food dammit
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
