just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
