If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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