I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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