even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
