I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
