He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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