I don't usually arrange sex via text message
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
