Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
