His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
