I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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