i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
