He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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