1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
